one man's ceiling
Saturday, April 14, 2007
  dinner for one, racism for all

louden wainwright iii (perhaps better known to some as rufus wainwright's dad) was a folkie who had a hit a few decades back called "dead skunk" which you may know about but have never heard. this post isn't about skunks or that song. i bring him up because in the 80's he had a song call "i eat out" that talks about what it's like to eat alone. mostly it's about how pathetic it is that he eats alone.

well you can put at the table
in the corner in the back
unless you got one in the telephone booth
i know, i'm here and i'm alone again
it's sad but it's the truth

no i'm not expecting anyone
is that beyond belief?
give me menu, take away the candle
never mind the aperitif

i get a little like that when the girls are out of town, as they were last night. without having everyone to cook for i'm not as inspired to cook for myself. unless i'm craving something specific that i can get take-out i'll just scrounge whatever's at home. unless it's like old mother hubbard there, and then it's the great divide: buy groceries and cook for one, or take-out?

have we ever discussed my indecision, especially when i'm too hungry to focus?

i got home from work last night, the girls already gone, and found nothing scrounge-worthy. shopping didn't sound fun so i ordered a burger and fries, zoomed on my bike to pick it up, and watched the ever-clumsy news media fall all over themselves on this don imus thing. people, the issues isn't his racism, it's the fact that we still haven't had a discussion about racism in this country because we don't feel like we can be good citizens until we have, and we haven't, and we're not. that is to say, racism exists because people in american believe it won't go away until we have a national dialog and consensus about racism which, if you've every tried to get a committee of people to agree on anything you realize isn't only difficult but sometimes impossible. now multiply that by several million, and not just any several million, but several million americans who equate "free speech" with "what i say is more right, more truthful, more valid than your free speech" and you'll understand my frustration.

basically, racism exists because we can't imagine an america without it. but i digress, and i must admit, i don't remember the meal at all. violation of rule number one: never eat with the television on. i had a perfectly good book, a couple back issues of entertainment weekly, there's no reason why it had to go down like that. at least i didn't get indigestion.

my zuska will be home later (it was only an overnight) but she's off to a party and i just don't see us eat together until tomorrow. so i'll scramble for a bagel sandwich here, maybe a makeshift pasta and sauce there, really clean out the fridge during this vacation week while the girls are away and work on some new menu ideas.

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